The Pessimist http://thepessimist.com Expecting the worst. Never disappointed. Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:30:43 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 Bad News Digest: June 18, 2013 http://thepessimist.com/2013/06/18/bad-news-june-18-2013/ http://thepessimist.com/2013/06/18/bad-news-june-18-2013/#comments Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:29:54 +0000 Mark http://thepessimist.com/?p=5706 Hey folks, did you miss us? Too bad, we’re back anyway, and we’ll be blogging daily again from here on out, now that we’ve put that pesky matter of a certain assassination behind us! And now that we’re back, we’re…

The post Bad News Digest: June 18, 2013 appeared first on The Pessimist.

]]> http://thepessimist.com/2013/06/18/bad-news-june-18-2013/feed/ 0 Please Stand By http://thepessimist.com/2013/06/01/please-stand-by/ http://thepessimist.com/2013/06/01/please-stand-by/#comments Sat, 01 Jun 2013 19:08:37 +0000 Justin http://thepessimist.com/?p=5694 After years of development, of false starts, aborted launches, and other self-inflicted mishaps, our most cynically brilliant adventure is about to begin.

The post Please Stand By appeared first on The Pessimist.

]]> http://thepessimist.com/2013/06/01/please-stand-by/feed/ 0 5 Other Dying Careers You Should Avoid http://thepessimist.com/2013/05/14/5-other-dying-careers-you-should-avoid/ http://thepessimist.com/2013/05/14/5-other-dying-careers-you-should-avoid/#comments Tue, 14 May 2013 16:47:37 +0000 Mark http://thepessimist.com/?p=5648 What jobs will remain after America turns into a post-apocalyptic shell of its former self? Here are five dying careers for the smart job seeker to avoid.

The post 5 Other Dying Careers You Should Avoid appeared first on The Pessimist.

]]> http://thepessimist.com/2013/05/14/5-other-dying-careers-you-should-avoid/feed/ 0 Get Ready for the Killer Robot Apocalypse http://thepessimist.com/2013/05/07/get-ready-for-the-killer-robot-apocalypse/ http://thepessimist.com/2013/05/07/get-ready-for-the-killer-robot-apocalypse/#comments Tue, 07 May 2013 16:15:59 +0000 Mark http://thepessimist.com/?p=5635 We don't mean to sound alarmist, but you will almost definitely die at the hands of killer robots. Heads up!

The post Get Ready for the Killer Robot Apocalypse appeared first on The Pessimist.

]]> http://thepessimist.com/2013/05/07/get-ready-for-the-killer-robot-apocalypse/feed/ 0 How to Go Broke in 5 Easy Steps http://thepessimist.com/2013/05/01/how-to-go-broke-in-5-easy-steps/ http://thepessimist.com/2013/05/01/how-to-go-broke-in-5-easy-steps/#comments Wed, 01 May 2013 20:14:08 +0000 Mark http://thepessimist.com/?p=5611 Too much money burning a hole in your pocket? Follow our five easy steps, and you'll go broke in no time flat!

The post How to Go Broke in 5 Easy Steps appeared first on The Pessimist.

]]> http://thepessimist.com/2013/05/01/how-to-go-broke-in-5-easy-steps/feed/ 0 A Poem for Amanda Palmer http://thepessimist.com/2013/04/25/a-poem-for-amanda-palmer/ http://thepessimist.com/2013/04/25/a-poem-for-amanda-palmer/#comments Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:57:31 +0000 Mark http://thepessimist.com/?p=5518 One of the great things about writing for a humorous current events blog is that there’s always great material. There’s just no end to hilarious stories in the news, ready to be satirized. Take last week, for example! There was,…

The post A Poem for Amanda Palmer appeared first on The Pessimist.

]]> http://thepessimist.com/2013/04/25/a-poem-for-amanda-palmer/feed/ 0 How to REALLY Deal with Corporate Types http://thepessimist.com/2013/04/18/how-to-really-deal-with-corporate-types/ http://thepessimist.com/2013/04/18/how-to-really-deal-with-corporate-types/#comments Thu, 18 Apr 2013 19:43:13 +0000 Mark http://thepessimist.com/?p=5493 The Pessimist's guide to dealing with the corporate types you know and barely tolerate. Because they're not going away, however much you might pray for it.

The post How to REALLY Deal with Corporate Types appeared first on The Pessimist.

]]> http://thepessimist.com/2013/04/18/how-to-really-deal-with-corporate-types/feed/ 0 How to REALLY Manage Creative People http://thepessimist.com/2013/04/08/how-to-really-manage-creative-people/ http://thepessimist.com/2013/04/08/how-to-really-manage-creative-people/#comments Mon, 08 Apr 2013 13:00:29 +0000 Mark http://thepessimist.com/?p=5473 Creative types: pretty much every office has at least one. You might not even realize it, but it’s a sure thing that at least one of your coworkers is working on a novel, maybe trying to write a screenplay, or…

The post How to REALLY Manage Creative People appeared first on The Pessimist.

]]> http://thepessimist.com/2013/04/08/how-to-really-manage-creative-people/feed/ 0 Happy Birthday, Despair http://thepessimist.com/2013/03/26/happy-birthday-despair/ http://thepessimist.com/2013/03/26/happy-birthday-despair/#comments Tue, 26 Mar 2013 18:54:09 +0000 Justin http://thepessimist.com/?p=5460 Despair, Inc. officially turns 15 years old this week! And we're planning to celebrate the only way we know how. With lots of Drinking & Demotivation™!

The post Happy Birthday, Despair appeared first on The Pessimist.

]]> http://thepessimist.com/2013/03/26/happy-birthday-despair/feed/ 0 Please Don’t Move to Austin http://thepessimist.com/2013/03/21/please-dont-move-to-austin/ http://thepessimist.com/2013/03/21/please-dont-move-to-austin/#comments Thu, 21 Mar 2013 13:50:03 +0000 Mark http://thepessimist.com/?p=5359 Our hometown of Austin, Texas, is the best city in the world. But don't move here. Please.

The post Please Don’t Move to Austin appeared first on The Pessimist.

]]> http://thepessimist.com/2013/03/21/please-dont-move-to-austin/feed/ 0