Hey folks, did you miss us? Too bad, we’re back anyway, and we’ll be blogging daily again from here on out, now that we’ve put that pesky matter of a certain assassination behind us! And now that we’re back, we’re…
We don’t mean to sound alarmist, but you will almost definitely die at the hands of killer robots. Heads up!
Don’t be afraid to look on the dark side of life. Because it’s looking on you.
In the world of digital etiquette, saying “thank you” is apparently rude — or so says New York Times writer Nick Bilton.
The TSA has finally updated their list of prohibited items. It’s good news for snow globe fans and boy scouts, but bad news for cricket players.
Taco Bell made its customers wait a whole extra day to try their new Doritos Cool Ranch tacos. And we’ve never been more angry in our life.
Kim, Bro, we need to talk. Dude, I know you’re feeling a bit insecure in your masculinity, but come on. These empty threats of preemptive nuclear attacks is just making you look even more impotent than your dumpling-shaped body and Depeche Mode haircut. It’s time for some real-talk. Bro-style.
All of us at the Despair, Inc. office have just discovered an unlikely hero: legendary basketball coach Bobby Knight, who is mostly known for his hilariously explosive temper. I mean, how could we not love the guy who wrote this…
Are you worried that the sequester will turn America into a nightmarish post-apocalyptic hellscape? Well, you should be.
Researchers used Twitter to determine the saddest cities in the USA. Great job, Beaumont! Good to see we’re not the only ones bringing despair to the Lone Star State!