The Pessimist is a daily journal of news, views and miscellany from Despair, Inc.
We have many plans for The Pessimist™. First, it’s Despair’s realtime take on select news of the day- whether that be cultural, politlcal or corporate. Favorite topics include the Motivation Industry, workplace culture and the boundlessness of human stupidity- but honestly, we’re great lovers of the occasional weird tangent, too. (Actually we’re just great lovers, period*.)
But we’re not just interested in giving our infinitely enlightened daily take on news. With The Pessimist™, we’re also aiming to offer richer, more idiosyncratic fare. Critical essays on Management Theory might rest uncomfortably alongside flashback videos to pre-Despair ISP-life in 90’s, an employee-driven political liveblog, Austin shoutouts, or weekly recaps of a particularly odious TV show we can’t stop watching.
We also run photo caption contests, overhype new Despair products, and offer periodic glimpses into the life and peculiar history at Despair, Inc. itself. Why would you care about that? You probably shouldn’t. But since we’ve been around longer than Google, invented the Demotivational Poster, trademarked an emoticon that pre-dated us by 16 years, tell a great pre-billionaire Mark Cuban story, unknowingly had our products included as set dressing in the Greatest Show in the History of Television, authored what the Financial Times called “the most daring, funny and subversive management book ever” and not so long ago made a $500,000 mistake that nearly bankrupted us, you could do worse. (So our epic Internet saga is at least more interesting than that “rich, hunky giants get richer” sob story the Winklevoss twins keep telling, right?)
So we hope at least some of you will you’ll stick around and make The Pessimist a part of your daily or weekly reading. We’ll try to not waste too much of your time. We’d really rather you waste your money, anyway.
* Not really. Sorry ladies**.