fatmouse

This. Changes. Everything.

Brace yourself.  Everything you knew about dieting was wrong. Again.

A Ph.D-sporting Indian-American researcher named Satchidananda Panda, who, let’s be honest, MUST know a thing-or-two about overcoming adversity, recently made a series of discoveries that have “rocked conventional weight-loss thinking to its (ginormous) core”.

His discovery?  You can eat whatever you want.  You just have to do it in eight hours.

Dr. Panda (nee Pandafandafobanda) conducted serious research involving “voluptuous vermin” (or as we like to call them in Texas, “some fatass mice”). In his study, Dr. Panda separated mice into two groups, putting both on high-calorie, high-fat diets.  While one set was given the chance to gorge themselves 24-hours a day like Houstonians, the second group were only allowed to eat what they wanted during an 8-hour window.

A little over three months later, the results were in.  The mice limited to an 8-hour dining window remained lean, while the group allowed to eat 24-hours a day were doomed to start shopping at Lane Bryant.

Putting it to work for YOU.

DON’T let the simplicity of the diet fool you.  First off, it’s imperative that you buy the companion book “The 8-Hour Diet“, despite the fact that you already know all you need to know about Dr. Panda’s diet formula (which sounds like a new brand of baby food now that I’ve typed it).  Why?  Because otherwise, you’re just ripping off someone else’s art and not letting them profit from it, like you do every time you download music and TV shows from the Internet.  Not cool, bro.  Plus, fatass mice don’t grow on trees, and if you don’t support the researchers behind these kinds of studies, you run the risk of reducing the fatass mice population.  Which produces a ripple effect.  Because THESE fatass mice were then used in a follow-up diet study involving two groups of cats.  What, do you hate fatass cats or something?

Plus,”The 8-Hour Diet” is the #1 best-selling Kindle ebook on Health, Mind & Body.  Which means all the cool people are buying it.  You are cool, aren’t you?

The Reviews Are In!

But don’t take our word for it.  We’re the sort of fogies who are trapped in the old-paradigm of dieting and health and have antiquated ideas about lifting-heavy-things-to-get-stronger or drinking-scotch-instead-of-beer-so-you-can-get-all-your-drunk-on-without-the-extra-wussie-beer-carbs.

Trust the reviews of recent buyers, like Jen from New England, who offers her five-star endorsement of the book, raving:

“5 STARS  -  Day 2 – So Far So Good!

I’ve been curious about IF for a while. Poking around on the internet trying to get info. Now, I have not yet read the whole book, just looked for the parts I needed. The info is there, it’s well-presented and read-able, and for Me this diet feels like a real breakthrough!”

 
Or how about this ringing 4 star rave from Alex Urena of New York?

“4 STARS  -  Just Started.

Been on this diet for almost one week, and I follow it strictly. So Far no weight lost, will update in a month. It get’s easier as time goes by to eat this way.”

 
Oh wait.  We just saw all these 1-star reviews, claiming the whole intermittent dieting idea is just an old-hat ripoff of diets that have been around for years.

Forget we said anything.

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